On New Year’s Day, my family and I were headed to Grandma’s house for a weekend visit.
Packing suitcases and cars for even a three day visit can be challenging. Trying to get on the road for this five hour trip for us has always been a battle, even more so now with three children. My oldest child is six years old, and I like to challenge him. I think boys need constant challenging to keep them striving to be better and to fight back complacency. So I told my son, “When you’re finished brushing your hair take you and your sister’s suit case, along with your little brother’s and put them in the car. I was changing the baby’s diaper and had my back turned so I failed to see that once he finished brushing his hair, there he was in the upstairs hallway trying to mange taking both suit cases down the stairs…..(I wish I had let him finish because wound up leaving his and his sisters clothes right there)
His mom said boy leave those suit cases alone. I laughed and told him I was joking. His mom didn’t find it as funny as I did. I told him that I was only joking with him. I asked him “What were you going to do once you got downstairs (three flights) and made It to the door?” ‘I was going to put them down and open the door.’ “Well ok then”, I further prodded, “once you got outside to the car what would you have done?” ‘I was going to put the suitcases down and come inside and ask you for the keys.’
What struck me most about this episode was my son’s eagerness to accomplish this task. He was willing to try to do something he had never done before in his life. Although he’s only seen it done before, even though he is too short, not strong enough and not old enough and just poorly equipped to accomplish the task he took the assignment without flinching. He was ready and willing even if he was unable, that counts for a lot.
So don’t get upset when someone who seems to you totally un-prepared and un- equipped to handle the job shows. It’s been said that 99% of success is just showing up, I think at least half of the remaining one percent is being willing to do whatever is required.
And the next time someone asks you to do something you think is impossible for you to accomplish, remember that [you] with God all things are possible!
Thursday, January 7, 2010
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
What's more important, people or things?
Tonight I had a little reminder of what are really the most important possessions during the holiday season.
I got a call from my wife this evening at 7:26 p.m. I was in Alexandria, VA by 8:02 I was by her side in Waldorf MD.
Apparently on her way inside Burlington coat factory, a gentleman (I use the term loosely) approached my wife to ask if her car door had bumped his car's handle. Now you already know this isn't going to go well. Meanwhile she is trying to get our 6 year old, 3 year old and 7 month old out of the car to buy the oldest a new winter coat. She informs him that she doesn't think so but is not sure. I'll spare the rest of the details but he goes on to berate her about a scratch that may be on his door and threatens to scratch her car when she comes out of the coat factory. This man got into my wife's face and uncomfortably close to my children. Well my wife goes into the store to buy the coat and calls me.
She heads out of the store to see if he is still there, because I wanted some information just in case he felt like he needed to further carry on with someone more his match. What she finds was astounding. The man is outside with the police officer filing an accident report. My children instinctively started crying, thinking the worst. Long story short, she was able to calm them down, there was no visible dent/scratch on his BMW 4 series and it'll be up to the insurance company to resolve the claim, if any is filed, and the officer took down the pertinent info to exchange. Of course the gentleman was long gone by the time I made it to the edge of Fort Washington, on my way through Accokeek to get to Waldorf.
This little incident just left me wondering, do we put more stock in our possessions, car's, homes, stock portfolios, TV's, camera's, etc than we do in the possessions that can never be replaced?
I am thankful that I have my family by my side this Christmas to enjoy. The prospect of spending Christmas with them far more exciting than any gift that will be under the tree.
In case you're wondering, I will not be visiting Mr. Hamilton of Mechanicsville.
I got a call from my wife this evening at 7:26 p.m. I was in Alexandria, VA by 8:02 I was by her side in Waldorf MD.
Apparently on her way inside Burlington coat factory, a gentleman (I use the term loosely) approached my wife to ask if her car door had bumped his car's handle. Now you already know this isn't going to go well. Meanwhile she is trying to get our 6 year old, 3 year old and 7 month old out of the car to buy the oldest a new winter coat. She informs him that she doesn't think so but is not sure. I'll spare the rest of the details but he goes on to berate her about a scratch that may be on his door and threatens to scratch her car when she comes out of the coat factory. This man got into my wife's face and uncomfortably close to my children. Well my wife goes into the store to buy the coat and calls me.
She heads out of the store to see if he is still there, because I wanted some information just in case he felt like he needed to further carry on with someone more his match. What she finds was astounding. The man is outside with the police officer filing an accident report. My children instinctively started crying, thinking the worst. Long story short, she was able to calm them down, there was no visible dent/scratch on his BMW 4 series and it'll be up to the insurance company to resolve the claim, if any is filed, and the officer took down the pertinent info to exchange. Of course the gentleman was long gone by the time I made it to the edge of Fort Washington, on my way through Accokeek to get to Waldorf.
This little incident just left me wondering, do we put more stock in our possessions, car's, homes, stock portfolios, TV's, camera's, etc than we do in the possessions that can never be replaced?
I am thankful that I have my family by my side this Christmas to enjoy. The prospect of spending Christmas with them far more exciting than any gift that will be under the tree.
In case you're wondering, I will not be visiting Mr. Hamilton of Mechanicsville.
Monday, December 14, 2009
Worship over worry (A holiday message)
4 Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, Rejoice. 5 Let your gentleness be known to everyone. The Lord is near. 6 Do not worry about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. 7 And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus Philippians 4:4-7 NRSV
There is no wonder why Christmas is celebrated in the winter. Even though by the position of the stars and the presence of shepherds and sheep scientist and biblical scholars have concluded that the advent or first coming of our Lord , the birth of Christ more than likely happened in the warm months of the spring or summer, even with all of that considered there should be no wonder why there are so many holidays (to include Christmas) in the winter months. Could you imagine if November thru February had as few holidays (and days off) as March through June does(there's really just Memorial day? )
Psychologist have recognized that there is a special dis-ease that comes in the winter, they call it Seasonal affective disorder or SAD. They say that the shorter periods of day light combined with the lower temperatures in the winter lead to higher levels of depression. But you don't need cold weather and lack of sunlight to be sad. We are going through a winter economically, and as some of our pundits say, when America catches a cold minorities get the flu. This time of year with the change of temperature changes also seems to bring a wave of deaths. Losing a loved one during the holidays can mar you ability enjoy the holidays for a life time, if we let it.
Some of us are going through a spiritual winter. The thing we thought we had under control in our life, that evil that you would not do, that is the thing you do. Then the good that you would do you can't seem to do. Anybody used to be able to pray and felt like the power of heaven came down before your prayer was over, but now we'd be lucky if we stayed awake thru the one prayer we try before bed. These things can lead to depression. And if we're not careful depression works in a cyclical and repetitive way. Depression can magnify itself. Depression starts out with a (1) negative event or happening, then that leads to a (2) low self esteem or negative interpretations of why the event or thing happened, that leads to a (3) feeling of sadness or depression, which if not handled correctly might lead to taking on some (4) negative behaviors, and those negative actions and behaviors have (5) some social consequences that lead to some social rejection and loneliness, another (1) negative event that starts the cycle all over again.
That's why it is important to learn from Mary, rather than magnify her problems (a teenage mother, pregnant with another's child) Mary choose to say “My Soul doth Magnify the Lord!” Yes, I'm going to realize that my God is bigger than my problems are, so I can break this cycle of depression before it even gets started. You see when I focus on and dwell on my problems , they seem bigger than the Lord. But when I magnify His name, when I make His name big my cycle of depression is broken. When I worship Him over my worry depression has to walk out of the door of my mind because I realize that the Name of the Lord is a strong tower, [that] the righteous [can] run into and they are saved. I realize that God is bigger than my problems.
I told my classmate from Virginia union how impressed I was that he's studying at Princeton. I said Gerald, Doc, do you realize that you are studying at Princeton? See I was magnifying Princeton, not that I was minimizing Virginia Union our masters level education, or Howard university my undergrad education, but doc...you're studying at Princeton! That's where they make the SAT prep books!
My barber taught my son a lesson one day, he was cutting AJ's Hair and a fly started floating around AJ's head, now this caused great peril for him because AJ's hands were under the barber's smock and he couldn't lift them to swat the fly away. He also was undoubtedly aware of the fact that if he moved Mr. Leo might cut him in the wrong place and potentially ruin his hair cut or an ear. He reasoned that his best move was to alert Mr. Leo to the presence of the fly, and it's impending danger. Well, Mr. Leo, who happens to be a youth pastor, taught Alijah a powerful lesson that he hasn't forgotten. It was as profound as it was simple. Maybe it can help some of us who might aim to be smarter than a six year old. Mr Leo said to Alijah "You should never be afraid of something, that's not bigger than you." Well not only are your problems not bigger than you, no problem you'll ever have in life will ever be bigger than your God. When your problems seem too big for you to handle, you need to remember to worship over your worry.
Sometimes the stress of the holiday season can become overwhelming when we focus on:
1.)the used to be's but ain't no more
2.)the not yet's, but needs to be
3.)wish it was but probably never gon' be.
The holiday season can become an occasion of sadness, stress and disappointment when we focus on the history of our past, the inadequacies of our present and our yet fulfilled future; however when we chose to worship God rather than worry He is able to grant us the peace on earth and good will towards all men that His coming promises.
You may ask, how can I worship over my worry? You can worship over your worry when you remember when God Did. “4 Rejoice (When?) Always and again I say rejoice” I rejoice always because God always brings me out. You can worship over your worry when you realize where God Is “5B The Lord is near” God is that very present help in the time of my not yet [Trouble]. You can worship rather than worry, when you realize that your Not yet's won't always be Not yet's, because God is near. God is moving closer to making my Not yet's my remember when God did's. You can worship over your worry when you request what God wants to give. “6 in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus” God gave me, is giving me and will give me exactly what I need. I thank Him for not always giving me what I ask for. God gives us the peace that passes all understanding. All of us will at times stress about what's not yet, or be disappointed about how things aren't anymore. But when I worship God rather than worry He gives us peace on earth and good will to all men to enjoy during the holiday season.
There is no wonder why Christmas is celebrated in the winter. Even though by the position of the stars and the presence of shepherds and sheep scientist and biblical scholars have concluded that the advent or first coming of our Lord , the birth of Christ more than likely happened in the warm months of the spring or summer, even with all of that considered there should be no wonder why there are so many holidays (to include Christmas) in the winter months. Could you imagine if November thru February had as few holidays (and days off) as March through June does(there's really just Memorial day? )
Psychologist have recognized that there is a special dis-ease that comes in the winter, they call it Seasonal affective disorder or SAD. They say that the shorter periods of day light combined with the lower temperatures in the winter lead to higher levels of depression. But you don't need cold weather and lack of sunlight to be sad. We are going through a winter economically, and as some of our pundits say, when America catches a cold minorities get the flu. This time of year with the change of temperature changes also seems to bring a wave of deaths. Losing a loved one during the holidays can mar you ability enjoy the holidays for a life time, if we let it.
Some of us are going through a spiritual winter. The thing we thought we had under control in our life, that evil that you would not do, that is the thing you do. Then the good that you would do you can't seem to do. Anybody used to be able to pray and felt like the power of heaven came down before your prayer was over, but now we'd be lucky if we stayed awake thru the one prayer we try before bed. These things can lead to depression. And if we're not careful depression works in a cyclical and repetitive way. Depression can magnify itself. Depression starts out with a (1) negative event or happening, then that leads to a (2) low self esteem or negative interpretations of why the event or thing happened, that leads to a (3) feeling of sadness or depression, which if not handled correctly might lead to taking on some (4) negative behaviors, and those negative actions and behaviors have (5) some social consequences that lead to some social rejection and loneliness, another (1) negative event that starts the cycle all over again.
That's why it is important to learn from Mary, rather than magnify her problems (a teenage mother, pregnant with another's child) Mary choose to say “My Soul doth Magnify the Lord!” Yes, I'm going to realize that my God is bigger than my problems are, so I can break this cycle of depression before it even gets started. You see when I focus on and dwell on my problems , they seem bigger than the Lord. But when I magnify His name, when I make His name big my cycle of depression is broken. When I worship Him over my worry depression has to walk out of the door of my mind because I realize that the Name of the Lord is a strong tower, [that] the righteous [can] run into and they are saved. I realize that God is bigger than my problems.
I told my classmate from Virginia union how impressed I was that he's studying at Princeton. I said Gerald, Doc, do you realize that you are studying at Princeton? See I was magnifying Princeton, not that I was minimizing Virginia Union our masters level education, or Howard university my undergrad education, but doc...you're studying at Princeton! That's where they make the SAT prep books!
My barber taught my son a lesson one day, he was cutting AJ's Hair and a fly started floating around AJ's head, now this caused great peril for him because AJ's hands were under the barber's smock and he couldn't lift them to swat the fly away. He also was undoubtedly aware of the fact that if he moved Mr. Leo might cut him in the wrong place and potentially ruin his hair cut or an ear. He reasoned that his best move was to alert Mr. Leo to the presence of the fly, and it's impending danger. Well, Mr. Leo, who happens to be a youth pastor, taught Alijah a powerful lesson that he hasn't forgotten. It was as profound as it was simple. Maybe it can help some of us who might aim to be smarter than a six year old. Mr Leo said to Alijah "You should never be afraid of something, that's not bigger than you." Well not only are your problems not bigger than you, no problem you'll ever have in life will ever be bigger than your God. When your problems seem too big for you to handle, you need to remember to worship over your worry.
Sometimes the stress of the holiday season can become overwhelming when we focus on:
1.)the used to be's but ain't no more
2.)the not yet's, but needs to be
3.)wish it was but probably never gon' be.
The holiday season can become an occasion of sadness, stress and disappointment when we focus on the history of our past, the inadequacies of our present and our yet fulfilled future; however when we chose to worship God rather than worry He is able to grant us the peace on earth and good will towards all men that His coming promises.
You may ask, how can I worship over my worry? You can worship over your worry when you remember when God Did. “4 Rejoice (When?) Always and again I say rejoice” I rejoice always because God always brings me out. You can worship over your worry when you realize where God Is “5B The Lord is near” God is that very present help in the time of my not yet [Trouble]. You can worship rather than worry, when you realize that your Not yet's won't always be Not yet's, because God is near. God is moving closer to making my Not yet's my remember when God did's. You can worship over your worry when you request what God wants to give. “6 in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus” God gave me, is giving me and will give me exactly what I need. I thank Him for not always giving me what I ask for. God gives us the peace that passes all understanding. All of us will at times stress about what's not yet, or be disappointed about how things aren't anymore. But when I worship God rather than worry He gives us peace on earth and good will to all men to enjoy during the holiday season.
Thursday, October 8, 2009
whate'er betide?
A few years ago I was facing a confrontation and the stress of it caused me to seek advice from my mentor. So I took a trip up to Baltimore with him. On the way up, we talked about the different situations and strategies to handle them. What became clear was that looking at things from the different points of view makes a huge difference.
Once there we became better acquainted with the people of Baltimore, my mentor after a chance encounter to get some unintelligible directions to the local carry out commented "....these folks up here make a tenth of your salary and have more joy then you riding around in your Lexus and working at Marriott International"
Once we reached the funeral....He quoted another Christian that had recently experienced the lost of his father...now this Christian, well he didn't go to church as much as his other relatives and therefore his Christian sincerity would often seem to be in doubt..but at the point of stress, when the chips were down, and everyone else in the family was falling out because the patriarch was passing on he was cool as a cucumber, when confronted about his calm demeanor he said....
"If you really believe what you say you believe then there's really no reason to be all broken up, is there?“ Interesting perspective, isn’t it?
Be not dismayed whate'er betide,
God will take care of you
Beneath His wings of Love abide,
God will take care of you
God will take care of you
Through every day, over all the way
He will take care of you,
God will take care
of you
Once there we became better acquainted with the people of Baltimore, my mentor after a chance encounter to get some unintelligible directions to the local carry out commented "....these folks up here make a tenth of your salary and have more joy then you riding around in your Lexus and working at Marriott International"
Once we reached the funeral....He quoted another Christian that had recently experienced the lost of his father...now this Christian, well he didn't go to church as much as his other relatives and therefore his Christian sincerity would often seem to be in doubt..but at the point of stress, when the chips were down, and everyone else in the family was falling out because the patriarch was passing on he was cool as a cucumber, when confronted about his calm demeanor he said....
"If you really believe what you say you believe then there's really no reason to be all broken up, is there?“ Interesting perspective, isn’t it?
Be not dismayed whate'er betide,
God will take care of you
Beneath His wings of Love abide,
God will take care of you
God will take care of you
Through every day, over all the way
He will take care of you,
God will take care
of you
Thursday, October 1, 2009
Wish list: Do we keep a "To give list" as long as our "wish list" and our "to do list?" We get preoccupied pursuing our gotta gets and our gotta get done's that we miss out on our oppurtunities to be philanthropic. Remember it is more blessed to give than to receive ...even than receiving from ourselves.
Thursday, September 24, 2009
7 things that may help you stay married longer than 7 years
The other day I ran into Dr. Duke, a true practitioner…he’s getting hitched and he asked me about it. Now I’ve got a year and a few months in marriage, but I have learned a few things:
1. Talk about money early and often. Number one cause of divorce isn’t infidelity its money. People handle spending, saving, budgeting, and the prioritization of money differently. If you don’t discuss the differences you’ll always butt heads because you’ll always look at things differently.
2. Pick your battles. Everything is not worth fighting with your Spouse about. Save “Going to the mattresses” for major issues.
3. Have weekly alone time. “And the two became one…” yeah, yeah I know..but if you don’t continue to be an individual you’ll get sick of anybody always up under you. Get away from the house. Eat by yourself, go to the movies, hang out with your friends go shopping ( be careful of no. 1) …do something by yourself that doesn’t involve your spouse or your children…speaking of crumb snatchers…
4. Wait to have kids ( if you can.) Of course this won’t work if you already have children. But newlyweds with no children should give themselves sometime to enjoy and grow themselves as a married couple before introducing to the family the exponential growth that is children. Children arrive and easily become the focus of the family, often leading to neglect or lower prioritization of the spousal relationship. So when/if you do have children, make sure you take the same great care of your spouse as you do your children.
5. Have date night (weekly) Follow up from the last two, just as you’ll need time to maintain yourself (your own personhood), you’ll need time to maintain the health of your relationship with your spouse. That means get away from the kids, get a babysitter, go out to eat, or to a movie, or put them to bed early and rent a movie. Spend some time with your spouse outside of your bedroom. (a few years back they did a study that said people that don’t have TV’s in their bedrooms had better marriages, look it up to see how they defined “better”)
6. Don’t take the attitude of ….You’re stuck with me now. People can always check out. Whether its mentally, spiritually, emotionally or physically leaving you. Remember people don’t have to actually leave to be gone. Ever been talking and the person is just nodding and saying uh huh? That person may have already left the conversation. The point is the same things that you did to attract your spouse you should continue after you have(?) them. Keep dressing nicely, even when at home. Stay mannerable. Don’t do the embarrassing things that you wouldn’t do during dating around your spouse once you’re married. Not saying you can’t relax and let your guard down but don’t take their affection and desire for granted. (I'm preaching to myself)
7. Anticipate. Think about your decisions, actions and attitudes and how they might adversely or positively affect your spouse. Even if you can’t/won’t do anything different, at least you’ll be prepared to deal with their possible response if you anticipate.
1. Talk about money early and often. Number one cause of divorce isn’t infidelity its money. People handle spending, saving, budgeting, and the prioritization of money differently. If you don’t discuss the differences you’ll always butt heads because you’ll always look at things differently.
2. Pick your battles. Everything is not worth fighting with your Spouse about. Save “Going to the mattresses” for major issues.
3. Have weekly alone time. “And the two became one…” yeah, yeah I know..but if you don’t continue to be an individual you’ll get sick of anybody always up under you. Get away from the house. Eat by yourself, go to the movies, hang out with your friends go shopping ( be careful of no. 1) …do something by yourself that doesn’t involve your spouse or your children…speaking of crumb snatchers…
4. Wait to have kids ( if you can.) Of course this won’t work if you already have children. But newlyweds with no children should give themselves sometime to enjoy and grow themselves as a married couple before introducing to the family the exponential growth that is children. Children arrive and easily become the focus of the family, often leading to neglect or lower prioritization of the spousal relationship. So when/if you do have children, make sure you take the same great care of your spouse as you do your children.
5. Have date night (weekly) Follow up from the last two, just as you’ll need time to maintain yourself (your own personhood), you’ll need time to maintain the health of your relationship with your spouse. That means get away from the kids, get a babysitter, go out to eat, or to a movie, or put them to bed early and rent a movie. Spend some time with your spouse outside of your bedroom. (a few years back they did a study that said people that don’t have TV’s in their bedrooms had better marriages, look it up to see how they defined “better”)
6. Don’t take the attitude of ….You’re stuck with me now. People can always check out. Whether its mentally, spiritually, emotionally or physically leaving you. Remember people don’t have to actually leave to be gone. Ever been talking and the person is just nodding and saying uh huh? That person may have already left the conversation. The point is the same things that you did to attract your spouse you should continue after you have(?) them. Keep dressing nicely, even when at home. Stay mannerable. Don’t do the embarrassing things that you wouldn’t do during dating around your spouse once you’re married. Not saying you can’t relax and let your guard down but don’t take their affection and desire for granted. (I'm preaching to myself)
7. Anticipate. Think about your decisions, actions and attitudes and how they might adversely or positively affect your spouse. Even if you can’t/won’t do anything different, at least you’ll be prepared to deal with their possible response if you anticipate.
Monday, September 7, 2009
Turn me up
This summer I took my wife to see Anthony Hamilton in concert. I'm a fan of great musicianship (shout out to Jimmie) and one of the things that impressed me that warm June night in Baltimore (besides Musiq Soulchild's all female band "Annie-Mae") was how Hamilton's bass player would keep the bass line going while conferring with the sound man on stage right. You see anyone that knows anything about live sound knows that is one of the most important elements is sound monitoring.
When we used to go to "Go-Go's" we'd make fun of Anwan Glover calling for his "monitor's" "I need my monitor's!" Dave Chapelle devotes an entire skit to a rappers constant recording of ad-libs referring to the sound engineer, "turn my mic up! turn me up in the head phones! Head phones' is distorted. Turn me up, turn the music down" Many a church sound/man/person knows the perils of not having the pastor's monitors tweaked at the right level, while at the same time gingerly walking the line, trying not to create a audio feedback loop, where the sound coming from the mic is returning back into the mic from a speaker creating that high pitched scream, all because the person on the microphone asked for more monitor. Many a speaker has worked themselves to near exhaustion trying to amplify their voice more than necessary because they couldn't not hear themselves in the sound system.
So what's the big deal? Why do musicians need speakers pointed at them to perform? Why did Erykah Badu temporarily loose hearing in one ear, with in-ear monitors that were carelessly allowed to blast in her ear drums? Why do singers and rapper need head phones in perfectly calibrated stereophonic music studios? And what does any of this have to do with me?
Simply put, in order to perform on the right note, the right key, in harmony, even with sheet music, even though trained to do the right motions to make music notes come out precisely as they should.....
Professionally trained artist need to hear themselves as they perform to make the right sound.
That's the big secret. Even though Anthony Hamilton had been on tour since the beginning of May and had performed two shows in D.C. that weekend and those musicians undoubtedly know those songs frontwards and backwards...to make the right sounds, you have to hear the sound coming out to you as it is coming out to everyone else.
You may wonder, can't they hear straight instrument to ear? Can't you hear your own voice, lips to ear? Ah, but the paradox is 'sound' sounds one way coming from the instrument, but another way to the hearer. Sound is a vibration, across air waves....that is interpreted for the most part by the ear drum, but don't forget the heart, the soul, and the body in general are capable of feeling sound's vibration.
Where we make our mistake, is often times we think we are heard just as we intend for things to sound. (I've had to re-write this several times as I read it aloud to myself.) We have one sound in mind, but far to often the sound that we think we are making is not the sound that people hear. Those words you spoke, you thought you were heard correctly, and when they didn't have the effect that you thought they would the tendency is to blame the hearer. Sometimes we use intonation to mask a true emotion. Ever try to cover up hurt and have someone ask..."what's wrong?" Ever been so excited that someone could hear you smiling through the other end of the phone? No? Well have you ever heard your voice on a voice mail you left? Or watched a video of yourself? Heard a recording of you singing or talking? Wonder why what sounds so good in your bathroom, in your head, or in the mixing booth doesn't quite draw the reaction that you thought it would? Too much auto-tune/vocoder?
Question: Have you heard yourself lately? Have you considered listening to what you are saying to others as they are hearing it (how it sounds to them?) Are your actions speaking louder than your words? Maybe you need to turn your monitors up?
(Note I'll be writing a Sunday/Monday Blog, a Tuesday/Wednesday Blog and a Thursday/Friday Blog...that might stretch into a Thursday - Sunday blog...basically I won't be writing, well posting everyday)
When we used to go to "Go-Go's" we'd make fun of Anwan Glover calling for his "monitor's" "I need my monitor's!" Dave Chapelle devotes an entire skit to a rappers constant recording of ad-libs referring to the sound engineer, "turn my mic up! turn me up in the head phones! Head phones' is distorted. Turn me up, turn the music down" Many a church sound/man/person knows the perils of not having the pastor's monitors tweaked at the right level, while at the same time gingerly walking the line, trying not to create a audio feedback loop, where the sound coming from the mic is returning back into the mic from a speaker creating that high pitched scream, all because the person on the microphone asked for more monitor. Many a speaker has worked themselves to near exhaustion trying to amplify their voice more than necessary because they couldn't not hear themselves in the sound system.
So what's the big deal? Why do musicians need speakers pointed at them to perform? Why did Erykah Badu temporarily loose hearing in one ear, with in-ear monitors that were carelessly allowed to blast in her ear drums? Why do singers and rapper need head phones in perfectly calibrated stereophonic music studios? And what does any of this have to do with me?
Simply put, in order to perform on the right note, the right key, in harmony, even with sheet music, even though trained to do the right motions to make music notes come out precisely as they should.....
Professionally trained artist need to hear themselves as they perform to make the right sound.
That's the big secret. Even though Anthony Hamilton had been on tour since the beginning of May and had performed two shows in D.C. that weekend and those musicians undoubtedly know those songs frontwards and backwards...to make the right sounds, you have to hear the sound coming out to you as it is coming out to everyone else.
You may wonder, can't they hear straight instrument to ear? Can't you hear your own voice, lips to ear? Ah, but the paradox is 'sound' sounds one way coming from the instrument, but another way to the hearer. Sound is a vibration, across air waves....that is interpreted for the most part by the ear drum, but don't forget the heart, the soul, and the body in general are capable of feeling sound's vibration.
Where we make our mistake, is often times we think we are heard just as we intend for things to sound. (I've had to re-write this several times as I read it aloud to myself.) We have one sound in mind, but far to often the sound that we think we are making is not the sound that people hear. Those words you spoke, you thought you were heard correctly, and when they didn't have the effect that you thought they would the tendency is to blame the hearer. Sometimes we use intonation to mask a true emotion. Ever try to cover up hurt and have someone ask..."what's wrong?" Ever been so excited that someone could hear you smiling through the other end of the phone? No? Well have you ever heard your voice on a voice mail you left? Or watched a video of yourself? Heard a recording of you singing or talking? Wonder why what sounds so good in your bathroom, in your head, or in the mixing booth doesn't quite draw the reaction that you thought it would? Too much auto-tune/vocoder?
Question: Have you heard yourself lately? Have you considered listening to what you are saying to others as they are hearing it (how it sounds to them?) Are your actions speaking louder than your words? Maybe you need to turn your monitors up?
(Note I'll be writing a Sunday/Monday Blog, a Tuesday/Wednesday Blog and a Thursday/Friday Blog...that might stretch into a Thursday - Sunday blog...basically I won't be writing, well posting everyday)
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